There comes a point in your life when you realize that the cost of having a broken/hurting relationship in your life is so great that you will be doing yourself a disservice not mending them.
You will be hurting yourself holding on to a grudge, bitterness or hurt. It costs too much to hold on to a fight, rift or anything that might bring a wedge between you and someone else – close or even distant.
What cause fights? Someone hurt your feeling, say something terrible, disrespect or disregard you? I know the pain such actions brings, we’ve all been there. However I have come to realize these are all the tactics of the enemy to weaken you. The enemy could use anyone. I mean anyone, far or near. The enemy is trying to use you to hurt yourself.
What is at stake in your destiny is too big to allow the enemy have his way in your life.
When you are fighting someone, not talking to them or relating with them like you need to, you are hurting yourself.
- Your relationship with God suffers. You can’t pray, you can’t worship, you can’t offer yourself to God when you have bitterness in your heart. Jesus instructed in Matthew 5:23-24 MSG “This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.” So it is saying don’t even waste your time thinking you are praying or worshiping God or offering anything to Him, when you have unresolved conflicts. Once it comes to your mind, you have to resolve it first. Those are the words of Jesus – the one we all claim to love, worship and serve. He says if you love me, obey my commandments.
- You have no peace within yourself, you can’t even have a good night rest hanging on to bitterness. Especially when it is with your spouse – for those who are married. You have a wall between you until you resolve the matter. Why don’t you resolve the issues quickly. You have a lot to gain by resolving matters quickly and moving on, knowing it is ultimately about your relationship with God and your destiny. If remaining bitter with someone will hinder my prayers then it is in my best interest to resolve the matter quickly. “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7 NIV “Guard your heart with all diligence. Out of it flows everything”.
- You cannot fulfill your responsibilities towards people you are bitter against: loving them as you are called to do. There is wall or obstruction in your spirit relating with them.
Why did Paul advise that As much it lies in your strength – live peaceably with all men? Because it is in your best interest to do so. It costs too much for hold on to such grudges. You lose too much personally not to let things go in your heart. It is not easy and it is a mark of maturity in the Lord to let things slide. We have to learn to let things go and the quicker we can do that, the more mature we are. When we do our own bit and the other party is still bitter, God sees that and He knows how to judge and intervene to help the relationship. You be the spiritually matured person and seek to end all rifts as quickly as possible. Life is too short to lose any part of it to prolonged fights and discord. You don’t want your relationship with God to suffer.
Nothing or nobody is worth losing my peace and bond with God for. I will rather forgive, apologize, mend broken walls and move on to protect my heart, my peace and my relationship with my father.
Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Shalom
Olaolu Oyeyemi